Wednesday, January 17, 2018

Do not be an agent of Iblees!

There is a set mentality, especially amongst the females of the sub-continent, that whenever a woman shares with them a difficult phase in her married life, they add fuel to it and fan her anger by raising some other points that turn her more against her husband.

For example (read a real life overheard example)

Sister A: My husband doesn’t seem to concentrate on me anymore. He listens to his mother and spends a large portion of his salary on his parents and siblings.

Sister B: Is that so? That is why I was thinking why you haven’t been able to upgrade your mobile since last two years.

Sister A: Yes. I told him that I want a latest mobile. He asked me to purchase from my savings if I want to. He can’t manage to buy me soon as he has other obligations.

Sister B: And what are those obligations?

Sister A: He has to save for the upcoming marriage at home. I don’t foresee anything else.

Sister B: Are his sisters his responsibility? When will he save for your daughter?

Sister A: (In almost I will start crying tone) Yes dear. I am so much worried about my children. Our daughter is already 9 and sons are growing fast too. I hope he understands his responsibilities.

Sister B: Yes, I remember that he had refused to buy the play station for your kids and the same month he contributed some amount towards his brother’s bike. He also spends on all his parents’ medical expenses, right?

Sister A: Yes. He has to.

Sister B: Why? What does the other son do? He is also an engineer, right? Where does his money go?

—————-

My turn for the PTM interrupted this and I couldn’t hear what was next.

But, I wondered why people do this? Does Sister B really think that Sister A’s husband is evil to that extent? I don’t think so. Or if she thinks so and if Sister A decides to part ways with her husband, then would Sister B be generous enough to let her husband take Sister A as a second wife? If I had asked her this, then I am sure I wouldn’t have been allowed to walk back home on my feet!

It was possible for Sister B to console Sister A in a righteous manner. She could have reminded her that every rupee he spends to please his parents is pleasing Allaah (SWT) and it is being stored as a huge investment for their Aakhirah. She could have told her that Allaah, Who provides for the hungry birds when they come out of their nests in the morning, would take care of all their responsibilities in the best possible way! She could have told her that all husbands are the same and maybe because they are now very busy with children she feels that he is not concentrating.

Actually, that is the case. Few years through the marriage, life changes and love grows. Although, loving gestures and care always help to further cement a marriage, these things are not so essential everyday feed after you have understood each other well enough. There are other priorities in life which turn from mine to ours with time. Very unfortunate are people who fail to look at things clearly. And more unfortunate are those who put out the dirt in front of others and take home more filth!

BTW, the one who is most happy when a divorce takes place is Iblees. Therefore, people who instead of erasing misunderstandings between a married couple, work towards increasing them either knowingly or unknowingly should understand that they are being the agents of Iblees and seek immediate pardon from Allaah with a firm resolve to never indulge in such a sin ever again!

Jabir (RDA) reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “Verily, Satan places his throne over the water and he sends out his troops. The closest to him in rank are the greatest at causing tribulations. One of them says: I have done this and this. Satan says: You have done nothing. Another one says: I did not leave this man alone until I separated him from his wife. Satan embraces him and he says: You have done well.”
[Saheeh Muslim]
So, Iblees continuously tries to sow seeds of discord amongst the married couples. Seek refuge in Allaah when you feel that your spouse doesn’t love you and ask Allaah to bless your love for each other and increase it with each passing day. In sha Allaah, prayers will do wonders provided that you do not shake hands with Iblees!

Narrated Thawban: The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: If any woman asks her husband for divorce without some strong reason, the odour of Paradise will be forbidden to her.

[Sunan of Abu-Dawood]

Sisters, kindly save yourselves from Hell and never ask for a divorce unless you have married someone who takes you away from Allaah. In all other situations, sabr and salah would help to strengthen your love for each other. Anyway, this life shall pass very soon. The reward for patience would be sweeter in the Hereafter and you will be immensely rewarded there for being patient with each other, in sha Allaah!

~UmmHashiR 

1 comment:

A reader said...

Sometimes we are left to wonder. Only wonder!

A very well written post, mashAllah!

May Allah bless you.

I am nobody, but a stranger, only a simple wayfarer,
My journey is this life till I reach the Hereafter..
Traveling all along the footsteps of my Teacher
,
For I have to, in time, reach the destination promised by MY
SUSTAINER...